This is Nathaniel.
(scroll down here)
Nathaniel was the sole crew member of NASAs Apollo 3.
Youve never heard of Apollo 3?
Neither has anyone.
It landed the first man on the moon.
The spacecraft malfunctioned leaving the moons surface
Miraculously, Nathaniel survived.
But NASA didnt want any bad PR.
So they covered the whole thing up.
Even Nathaniels family forgot about him.
10 years later...
Apollo 11 comes along.
And effin Neil Armstrong gets all the credit.
Screw that guy.
Whats even weirder though...
Is that Nathaniel hasnt died yet.
Hes just been floating
for like 60 years.
Hes figured out the meaning of life.
And the secrets of the universe.
But he cant tell anyone.
I guess being smart isnt all that fulfilling after all.
Neil Armstrong is a bastard.
Nathaniel has had an itch on his foot
That he has not been able to reach
for at least 40 years.
Nathaniel is also a huge extrovert.
He hates isolation.
Nathaniel is really angry.
Nathaniel has a shit life.
Next time you complain.
You have a million times better visual stimulus.
And at least one more friend.
Maybe one day Nathaniel will encounter some other life forms.
On an alien planet.
Meet some alien friends.
Or an alien girl.
Maybe he will fall in love.
Maybe he will find happiness.
Probably not though.
Nathaniel was kinda an asshole to begin with.
Maybe he will die in a black hole.
Thats more probable.
And not too terrible.
He is probably pretty sick of living anyway.
60 years of solitude?!
I would be.
Makes you wonder though.
If enough time
and self awareness
could make us want to die,
then life can only get worse.
It makes sense.
You can only get more sick of yourself.
Nathaniel thinks its funny that you didnt already know that.
He figured that out on like day 3 of floating.
And hes on day 21984.
Life is meaningless.
You will all learn soon enough.
A black hole.